Several days ago, a woman walked over to my desk at work and complimented me on my kinky coils. She exclaimed, “I love your curly hair!” Then she went on to ask if I relax my hair and when I informed her that I didn’t she congratulated me. She said, “Good for you! You shouldn’t do it. Your hair is so beautiful just as it is.” I thanked her and I will confess, that her words gave me a quite a boost. I couldn’t have been more proud of my kinks. I had a true “Ally McBeal” like inner dialogue moment and I silently cheered, “Go me! My hair is so on-point that even this white lady recognizes my fly!”
Often times, naturals don their war paint in an effort to preempt slights and snobbery from the straightened black American mainstream society. You know what I mean, the stares, the snide under-breath comments, the blatant declarations similar to this one: “I don’t like no pea’sy afros.” Sound familiar to anyone?
We regularly find ourselves rationalizing that because so many folks from our own culture perceive our kinks and coils so negatively, then of course people of other nationalities wouldn’t appreciate it. I have to admit that I have been guilty of this too. But throughout my years as a natural, I have received many genuine and encouraging compliments on my kinky coils from folks who were outside of my culture.
I used to work for a major international airline and there I have met people from such far flung places as Turkey, the Netherlands and even Japan– all of them with many kind things to say about us kinky curlies (even from those who didn’t possess a natural curl of their own). And I know… I know… you’re thinking that I shouldn’t let other people’s opinions on something as personal as the way I choose to wear my hair matter to me. On the average, I couldn’t give one flying fish stick what negative nonsense people have to say about my natural coils.
But, I am certain you can agree that it sure feels great when people recognize Your Fly!
That’s right. Your Fly! Own it.
Have you ever received compliments on your curls from someone outside of your race?